Reply to Is it weird that I never want to "make love?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm going to dissent a little, only becau of my personal experience. DH and I went through a patch where I felt this way, and it had to do with my own underlying issues stemming from sexual abuse as a child. The emotional connection from sex was too much from me, so I treated it like a porn star. It really hurt our relationship until I got counselling.

The interesting this is.. I never realized it was an issue until it became an issue. I always thought I enjoyed sex as much as the next gal, but it went a lot deeper than that. I could use sex for approval/ getting off... I just couldn't accept it as a means of emotional intimacy, and that was the problem.

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I was going to write something similar, but you beat me to it.
I have a friend who could never relate during our conversations about emotional sex, and thought "making love" was cheesy
Friend later shared having been abused as a kid/teen and in other relationships as an adult, as a result sex was just something dirty,  to do to please the other person, and to get momentary attention. Sometimes pleasurable, but not loving or emotional.
Things didn't change until  she started then boyfriend, and now DH, she initially got upset that he wanted more than just for her to act like a porn star.
 and 
OP, only you know yourself and your relationship, but my general advice is if you are questioning something it's worth some reflection.  Also just to be clear I don't think everyone who prefers to bang over making love has been abused at some point.

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