Reply to DH binge drinker/alcoholic? Endangers our children. Now he wants divorce.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old are your kids, OP?  If they are in elementary school or older, perhaps it's time to have a talk with them about what they can do if dad seems "off" when he's driving them around. If they are old enough, it's possible that they've noticed.  It's a crappy situation all around and normally, you don't want your kids in the middle of stuff like this, but whether you stay married or separate, you might want to think about empowering the kids in these situations.  Do the kids have a cell phone? They could call you if dad isn't acting normal or is talking funny.

I say this as someone who went through something similar as a young child (5 years old).  My parents were divorced and my dad was an alcoholic and drug abuser.  My mother was terrified he would drive us around drunk or high during his visitations, but there was not much she could do about it through the family court system. I distinctly recall her turning him away when he came to pick us up drunk and/or high and calling the police, but he never got arrested and still had visitation rights.  So she talked to me about what to do if my dad seemed "off" - talking funny, walking funny, if he smelled like he'd been drinking (kids who have an alcoholic parent know that smell).  We weren't supposed to get in the car with him, if possible, and call her right way.  It wasn't done in a "your dad is awful" kind of way either - it was "dad has a sickness" and that it was important for me to keep an eye out for myself and my brothers when dad was "sick". It's a lot to put on a young child and they would probably be scared that dad would get mad at them, but maybe this is a conversation to consider having.

I wish you the best, OP.  [/quote]

Make sure they always have emergency cash and cell phone programmed with taxi cab numbers.  Let them know that if dad seems like he's been drinking and wants to drive them somewhere, they can absolutely refuse and call you and you will back them up 100 percent.

In the meantime, document, document, document.  Do whatever you can to protect those kids.  [/quote]

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