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[quote=Anonymous]I think the ability to make money is a part of the picture. But not in the way you might think. I don't need someone who can make $150,000+. But there is a minimum that I need (along with my salary) to have a comfortable life. I dated a guy who was an actor/comedian, who would not move to NYC or LA. So he was doing local shows and college tours.

At 32, he made the most he'd ever made $17,000. I made more than him at my first job out of college. I knew that if I stayed with him, I would be the breadwinner, who had to make enough to pay for our life and childcare beacause his salary wouldn't cover it. That wasn't comfortable for me. He ended up married to a very rich attorney. He has left acting, but his jobs as a 50-something now are low-wage, entry level.

Another friend, married a guy who had a dream job that is a difficult to get. She followed him around the country as he took one job after another (at one job they paid him $0, only paid for health care) building up his resume so he could one day get his dream job. She gave up good paying jobs to follow him from job to job (often getting paid less).  She was fine with this for many years. Until she wanted to settle down, buy a house and have a kid. She expected him to grow up and take a job that would pay the bills (especially since it was becoming clear that he would never get his dream job). He didn't see it that way. Now they are both angry at each other. He's had several bouts of long-term unemployment and not they've filled for bankruptcy.

So money is a part of someone's long-term goals. And that is a part of the package along with are they good, kind, respectful, funny and am I attracted to them. But for me, more money doesn't mean he is better and that I'd accept less from him emotionally. [/quote]

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