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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is more of a vent than anything else, but it's driving me crazy.  My 6 month old does not like my mom, at all.  He starts crying within seconds of her picking him up.  The second I take him back, he is all smiles again.  She 'helps' us by taking him to daycare 2 of the 3 days a week that I work so she can spend a couple hours with him in the morning.  However, I'm finding that I'm constantly late on those days because I can't seem to get ready without going back into the room to quiet him down when she is holding him.  As a side note, I don't have the best relationship with my mom and we are not very close.  I appreciate that she wants to help and spend time with the baby, but she also does not listen to my advice on following his cues.  Every time he cries, she insists he is tired and starts loudly shushing and trying to rock him, which generally results in him screaming louder.  He also completely refuses to take a bottle from her.  She has been around him since day 1, and he has just slowly developed into not wanting to tolerate her at all.  Although she 'loves' babies, she was not around much when my brother and I were little - we each spent 12 hours a day in daycare during the week and spent weekends with grandparents so she is not all that experienced.  Sorry for the vent, just so frustrated and tired of listening to him cry on the mornings she is there... it is torture to my ears and my heart.[/quote]

I'm confused, do you HAVE to let your mom do this 2 days a week?  Or she just wants to be "helpful" so you allow it?

If she is the only adult your baby acts like this with, then maybe your baby is picking up on things or cues and it's just not a great fit?  Why keep subjecting your baby to someone that is clearly distressing him if you don't have to?  Again, this only applies if she's the main person he acts like this with.  If he's like this with everyone who isn't you, then maybe it is more about you always  going to get him and not giving him time to get used to others and just deal with being away from you (he may need to learn that you'll always be coming back).

I've worked in daycare and honestly, most of the babies who cried and disliked one particular worker or another at the places I worked had excellent reason for not liking them.  You'd never know if you were a parent or someone else walking in, because of course then everyone's on good behavior.  Nothing blatantly abusive where I worked, but just cold and unfriendly and those babies were absolutely communicating real preference of "No, I don't want to be with this person because she's mean/rough/cold/stern" and I saw how she was when no parents were around, those were legit feelings.  Those same babies were not like that with other workers who treated them normally.

Not talking about spoiling or coddling babies.  Talking about the difference between positive or neutral care, and negative care.  Your mom may be negative to your baby and your baby is right on point in communicating that this distresses him.

So if you don't have to do it, tell your mom that you're going to change up the routine and find other ways for her "to be helpful".  You don't owe this to her and if she really fights you on it, you should wonder about that too.  A supportive parent should be trying to be supportive in ways that actually help their adult child and grandkids, not in ways that cause more hassle and lateness and stress.  [/quote]

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