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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Give him time.  And start when you are alone together.  Not in public.  This would be like expecting you to speak Chinese in public in front of native speakers.  Possibly very embarrassing for you and you would need a lot of encouragement.  Spoken English is not the same as signed English.  Different grammar, different rules.  [/quote]

Deaf pp here. No, this isn't it. I mean, you're correct about syntax, etc. But someone who's been mocked for "deaf voice" and is reluctant to use it should not be "encouraged" to do so. This is an intense matter of personal preference -- it's not something to be "fixed" or coaxed out of like some Hallmark movie. Just respect it and figure out how to communicate effectively. Most likely that means she learns to sign.

This is not at all like being asked to speak Chinese in front of native speakers. Someone learning Chinese eventually WANTS to be able to interact and converse in that language. This man most likely has no interest in it whatsoever.[/quote]

NP.  I'm sorry, but why is "he gets to keep his preferences and she has to learn sign" OK in this situation?  Shouldn't BOTH parties be trying their best to communicate with one another, including him working on his aversion to verbal communication while she works to learn ASL?  [/quote]

Because this isn't really about "preferences." If you know anything about Deaf culture you'd know the ugly history of trying to force Deaf people to speak. For decades, in fact, children who used sign would be whipped and be forced to learn to vocalize. It was very, very cruel.  BTW, this is a lesser known legacy of Alexander Graham Bell.

There are some Deaf people who are comfortable vocalizing, but they are few and far between. This isn't merely a "preference" for him -- and it shouldn't be viewed as some litmus test for his affection for her. It's not something to "overcome." It's not something you meet half way on. It's really not negotiable at all. Demanding this of him is unfair -- it's like insisting someone who is paralyzed get out of the chair and walk because you want a dancing partner.[/quote]

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