Reply to Boyfriend's Mother is Ruining My Personal Life & Relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are learning the lesson before it is too late. You don't marry a man, you marry his family.  My mom told me if it isn't great when you are dating, move on, because it is not going to get any easier.

I know it is hard, but you will be thankful you did.[/quote]

NP here.  I disagree completely.  This is a mother that only wants herself to be happy - no one else - not her son, not you, no one, OP.

OP, the lesson here is that there are self involved, self important people in this world, and this woman is one of them.  Some might even call her narcissistic.

Here is the rub:  if your BF is able to stand up to her, all the better.  If he is able to limit his contact, and put you first, that is even better.

This woman wants to control you.  She may always think of your BF as a young boy, not a man.  My MIL is like this.  It is as crazy as it sounds.  But as long as you are aware of it, and willing and able to manage it, consistently and well, it is fine - and won't impede.

[b]I don't believe we marry the family, at all.[/b]  I have lots (lots) in common with DH; but zero in common with his family.  
[/quote]

This is only true if your BF doesn't want to be a part of his family. But, yes, if you or he want your individual families to be a part of your lives, you are marrying each others' families. Anti will only intensify once you have children. Keep in mind, as well, even if he says he doesn't want his family around now, that may change once you have children. Having children changes everything. [/quote]

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