Reply to Feel Like DH Abandoned Me

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[quote=Anonymous]I thought I was the only one who had this experience. I only stayed overnight at the hospital, (also at 30 weeks pregnant) but was floored when my DH left me in the ER and told me to call him in the morning. He said he was tired and hungry.

A few years later, I brought it up and he absolutely did not remember it that way. I'm still not sure what he thinks happened because he remembered me being at the hospital but was offended to the point of yelling - for days - when I said that he abandoned me. It's like he blacked out on the whole scary experience.

The only way I've been able to get past it is to believe that stress and fear of loss put him in some sort of auto mode. He was in an extremely high pressure job at the time, the economy wasn't good (this was 2009) and he was afraid of losing our household's sole income with a baby on the way. I think he just shut down his emotions and went after problems he could do something about. There was nothing he could do for me at the hospital and the anxiety was too much.

Whatever his issue, he was not able to articulate it and got extremely angry when I asked him to. One perspective is that he's an uncaring jerk, another is that in times of stress he turns his attention to things he can manage and away from things he can't. That's the perspective I've chosen.[/quote]

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