Reply to "What does 'sex' mean?"

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Reply to ""What does 'sex' mean?" - second grader"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"When a woman really loves a man she allows him to put his penis in her vagina. It feels really good and he plants a seed. And then they grow a baby."[/quote]

This is a really narrow and inaccurate way to present sex. It's not always a man and a woman. They don't always really love each other. A baby doesn't always come of it. If you don't consider the implications of your kids hearing messages like this, you're setting your kids up to struggle more once they start encountering sex without parental guidance. Set them up for how things really are, not your little heterosexual fantasy where they're always in love and only do it once a year to make a baby.

"Sex is something that adults do together, because it feels good and is a way for them to show they care about each other. They might touch each other's genitals, and there's usually lots of kissing  and cuddling. When a man and woman have sex, they can make a baby too! But lots of different types of couples have sex."

If your kid seems like they want more details about mechanics or how a baby comes of it, tell them. Let them lead. They'll be back with more questions soon. [/quote]

I don't like that explanation because it does not really give the idea of consent. Although it sounds somewhat sexist to say the woman "allows" the man to have sex, I think that is a healthy way to explain it (to a boy) because it reflects the generally reality of the woman being the one to say yes or no, and her consent being important. I wouldn't want to convey the message that a boy is ever entitled to sex or that it is inevitable. I think it is fine to tailor the message to your child's gender and presumed sexuality (and your own family charActeristics ) first and broaden the explanations later. The ultimate goal is to open up a healthy dialogue for questions and accurate information, so I think that attitude is more important than getting into all the possible variations in the very first conversation. [/quote]

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