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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you all deal with the grandparents' prerogative and how can I nip it in the bud? For instance I will say no more sweets. And then in front of me they will hand the child a cookie and say "grandparent's prerogative!" and wink like it's cute. And that's just what happens in front of my eyes, I'm sure a lot happens when I don't see it. We have great, loving parents but this happens with both my inlaws (where I'm less powerless to complain) and my parents too. I'm not a controlling person either.[/quote]

Say that only applies in their house. Their house -- their rules. Your house -- your rules. No BS exceptions[/quote]

My kids are 9 & 10. They know that grandparents are not parents and don't set the rules, and sometimes, are a little crazy.
They also know that they are less dependanble (in my case).

If they get sweets and it isn't time, they ask me if they can eat it.
I often say I don't care or "think about how you are going to feel later."

My parent thinks this is controlling and that I am keeping my kids in a hostage like situation.

That's fine.

It is never really about the cookie.

My parent can undermine me because it doesn't make an impression anymore.

Truth-If I want to be "the fun guy" but have to be the bad guy (wearing PJs all day or having pizza 2 nights in a row) and grandparents want to spread some pixie dust and do this, it is nice.  I know my children will have a handful of memories of time with these people. If it isn't unsafe, I'm inclined to not see it as a power struggle.

[/quote]

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