Reply to How to tell BIL you are not happy with how he speaks to your children, or myself without causing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You guys are right. We were too passive. I don't know how to handle conflict with my inlaws. We see them about once a month or every other month. They love 6 hours away and come down to see My MIl and FIL.

My inlaws absolutely love this son (he is their financial support) and kiss his ass, (to keep their $ coming). They support him with everything (even though it's wrong). In fact, I feel like it's possible that MIL talks abt my children (she's late 50s and I think generally is past the age where she's comfortable with children in her home) so my children irritate for that reason alone.  She hides their toys If they visit (once a month). And prefers they only watch tv. I feel like she's the one who pushed this son, so talk this way. He's her mouthpiece, and puppet. I truly can't stand this brother. That's the only reason I want to talk to MIL. To let her know I was hurt. To let her know their comments (she is generally cruel with her words to my children,mine ie has nicknamed my son the devil). I'm not being biased. But he's a sweetheart. And does nothing at her home to warrant that name. I hate that she calls him that. She does this when DH isn't around, only for my ears.

I think you're all right. I need to handle it next time on the spot. There have been several moments where he's disrespected my children. I just haven't known how to handle it. Ie/ 2 months ago, 3rd brother got married, there was a family picture of the siblings, this brother had his 2.5 yr old daughter in the picture. my daughter came running to be in it. She's very close to this uncle and that brother told her sternly to leave the picture and it was for siblings only. She was shocked and says bc clearly his kids were in it!? I was fuming, but again didn't handle it. [/quote]
WOW! Please work on having a backbone. I say this as a person who has TOO MUCH to say. If you are at a loss of words, post the situation. I have a number of "lovely" responses. [/quote]

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