Reply to DS's Muslim friend - How to make him feel more included?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are dealing with that at our school now. Three new Muslim kids in the classroom and their parents are extremely conservative. The kids can't eat rice krispy treats, for example, because commercial marshmallows are made with gelatin, which is likely pork-derived.  And many of the parents aren't sure how to deal with that. And the kids DON'T get invited for play dates. [/quote]

Would it be a problem if it were Jewish kids that would not eat marshmallows because of the gelatin?  They do make kosher marshmallows, which should be fine with Muslims.  [/quote]

Thanks for bringing Jews into this.  There's always the person who does that.[/quote]

Bringing Kosher law which is similar to muslim dietary restrictions.  [/quote]
 
With a hint of nastiness, yes.[/quote]

Nanny here.  I've nannied for families who were Jewish (conservative) and Muslim (also conservative).  Frankly, there is very little difference between Kosher and hallal in terms of what is allowed, but there are major differences in the ways that foods are prepared.  The Muslim family shopped at a Kosher grocery store because they knew that they could trust anything in the store (no pork, no shellfish, etc).

There are parents who won't want to engage with a family when there are differences in allergies, religious dietary restriction, discipline, comfort with showing wealth, or anything else that sets them apart.  That's on those parents, and there's nothing that OP can do to force the situation without possibly making it worse for the child in question.  If OP's child wants to invite the other child to their house, that's wonderful.  Unfortunately, the child needs to learn that he will be judged, and he needs to learn to deal with it.  It's very likely that when he is high school, he will have a full beard, and kids are going to think it's weird.  He needs to learn to self-advocate and teach the kids around himself, and OP's son can help by showing that there is nothing wrong with him.  OP just needs to make sure that her son doesn't become the boy's only friend, as that could be very hard on her son.[/quote]

Muslims do eat shellfish, and I've never heard that it's likely the kid will have a beard in high school, I am Muslim and obviously know a lot of Muslims, none of the younger ones have a beard.  I just wanted to share my perspective.[/quote]

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