Reply to Vacation time/money/extended family issues (really about relationships with in-laws.)

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[quote=Anonymous]This is interesting.  It seems like DW's mother is overdue for a visit. However, it sounds like an ordeal to visit DW's mother (and that DW doesn't have much desire to go), but if her house is immaculate you'd probably have to stay in a hotel.  If the grandmother is cranky she doesn't have a relationship with the grandkids, why doesn't she get a dog sitter and make the trek herself?  Because of the expense and distance, I don't think she should expect a visit more than every other year or every couple years if she's not going to travel herself.  She chose to move far away and has to accept the consequences.

As for DH's grandparents, you just saw them but they may not be around much longer, so that's a good reason to go.  If you see them again, then DW shouldn't tell her mother because she will be angry and hurt.  That also puts off seeing DW's mother for another year due to expense, which is not that fair.  I'd say, it's up to DW. Is DW okay with seeing DH's grandparents again?  Does the whole family have to go every time? That would cut down on the expense. Maybe one spouse could take 2 kids and the other spouse and other 2 kids could stay home.  Can you somehow encourage DW's mother to visit to save yourselves from the hassle of getting there?
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