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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH hear in 20 year marriage. Seems very suspicious that DH does not tell you where he is going on a planned trip.  That seems off.

But I do get defensive when DW calls and asks when are you going to be home, what are you doing now, why are you going there, who is there on and on.   Sometimes seems to be trying to pin me down, when sometimes I just want to go different places with friends, and I don't know where I am going and I don't know when I will be home.   Come on now, why are you bothering me , and I will make things up to get off the phone.

Especially when golfing, we almost always go out for dinner and drinks and she will want to know where and when, stupid questions.[/quote]

Yes, I understand you feeling this way.  But would you arrange in advance to go stay with out of town buddies without telling your wife?  I mean, plan it in advance in secret and then follow through in secret and then when you got home keep it secret ... All just because you sort of prefer a bit of independence now and then?  I know for sure he is with a guy friend, yet the secrecy part of it just really bothers me.  And I have explained that to him (sometimes calmly and rationally) but he does it anyway.  I think he really just loves that autonomous, not married feeling very now and then and I am trying to accept it but am not doing very well at it, obviously.[/quote]

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