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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Fair is not always equal. [/b]My grandmother recently left her entire estate, one small home, to one of her three children because he needed it and the others didn't. Your HHI is $400, you can make your own down payment. You chose to have children, you can support them and the high end lifestyle you want to give them on your own.

Now, it sounds like your sister wants to live far beyond her means simply because she has a larger down payment, and that is not wise, but also not your decision to make.

On a side note, what is your parents' HHI?  Do you think it is fair for you to ask them for money when you likely make more than they do?  [/quote]

NP here and I don't think you have to do the same exact thing for two kids to be fair like saying I will put both Larla and Layla in soccer lessons to be equal when one loves soccer and the other drama.  I don't even think the amount you spend has to be the same.  If it costs $250 to be in the theatre activity but $1000 to be in soccer, you don't have to run out and find another $750 to spend on the child in theatre to be equal.  But if you are doing squat for one child and everything for the other that is a choice you are entitled to make as a parent but I'm not going to say it is fair or equal.  The only way I would say more to a child that needs is a real need like if the child has special needs that would make complete financial independence unrealistic or maybe a medical issue where an adult child temporarily needed help.  I think most other situations you can come up with something to at least approach the realm of fair like taking the amount given now to one adult child from the amount left in inheritance for that child or putting money into a college fund for the grandchildren that were not in the line that had downoayment help.

So to the OP, yes I would be ticked.  However,  I realize people disagree if fair is achieved by giving much more to the one that financially has less (even if that is by way of making less responsible choices) or fair is that assuming they had equal opportunities you split amounts equally/split opportunities to do something important for each of them.  All you can do is mention it if you think it does more damage to hold everything in and with your own kids follow your idea of doing better by them.[/quote]

I agree with your thinking. No, I won't bring this up again. It's not worth it. I won't dwell on it either. I just think this was a lousy thing for mom to do. And it's against what she has preached her whole life too. But that's another story. [/quote]

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