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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, he's not your dad. But this is just part and parcel of your mom's second marriage. It's her business and she's within her rights to leave it to her husband if she chooses. I understand why that might be upsetting to you, but I think you should resign yourself to the fact that that might very well happen.[/quote]

I agree that it is within her rights. That is why i prefaced my question acknowledgement of that.

I definitely live my life as if I will receive nothing, and I agree most people should adopt that philosophy.

I just wish we could have a normal, frank conversation about it. However, I knew we wouldn't be able to, and asking about it was a serious lapse in judgement. I certainly won't be apologizing, but I won't bring it up again. [/quote]

But you're not having a frank conversation about the real "it" either. What you really want to discuss with her is how she's always prioritized your stepfather over you and your brother, and you're using the will issue as a proxy for that. You've been through a lot of heavy stuff, OP, and there's probably a lot of emotional issues there that you need to work through. Your mom is highly unlikely to ever give you the satisfaction you're looking for, so [b]you need to find a way to make peace with your relationship without getting anything different from her[/b]. A skilled therapist may be a good starting point.[/quote]

Yes, I agree 100% with the bolded.

We've talked about a lot of issues, but probably not directly about my feelings regarding my step-father. I doubt she would be particularly receptive. I have been learning to keep emotional distance and accept the relationship as it is. My DH has been really helpful with supporting me to that end as well. [/quote]

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