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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would add this.

A decade ago, a friend's mother died. She had circumstances very similar to your mother's. She had remarried after being widowed. The second husband was younger and successful.

The mother and stepfather ran a very popular restaurant until the stepfather's adult children took over. Then the mother and stepfather went traveling for roughly five years. The mother developed BC and returned to the US for treatment. She didn't respond and soon died.

Before her mother died, my friend's husband pressured her to ask what was going to happen to the first estate: a small rented out house and some money left from the first husband. It was known to be modest, but he wanted to make sure that it didn't go to the stepfather.

So as my friend's mother was dying, she was asking her about the will. The mother shushed her out of the hospice room and called her attorney. She died a couple days later still not speaking to her daughter.

When the will was read, my friend learned that the mother and stepfather had originally intended to split both estates among the 4 adult children (my friend and her stepsiblings). instead, my friend inherited her biological parents' modest estate and would get nothing at all from the stepfather's much larger one.

It put a crack in the my friend's marriage that has never healed.[/quote]

OP again: That's an interesting response from the mother. I wonder what their relationship was like before that happened.

In any case, the topic of money is obviously a very loaded one. In my case, there is a lot of family baggage contributing to why this devolved into an argument. Money is not the core issue, it's really just a symbol. [/quote]

So when you asked about her will, you were asking about a whole lot more than her will, in a way that was guaranteed to start a fight and create hard feelings. This isn't information you need before she passes away, it sounds like you were looking to make a point with her.[/quote]

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