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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]So you are begrudging your stepfather money from a business that he has successfully helped run for 25 years? Stop it.[/b]

Apologize to your mom, and then leave it alone. [/quote]

No, I am not begrudging him money.

The issue from my point of view is that [b]he is not our dad[/b].

If my mom leaves him her estate when she dies, it's very possible that he could remarry and not leave my brother or I anything at all later on. The thought of that is upsetting because I already feel a great deal of resentment about neglect due to her relationship with my stepdad, which i feel she prioritizes. My mom sent me to boarding school when I was 9 years old so that she could spend more time with my step dad. My step dad was not open to bringing my brother into the business, which would not have been true if it was his own child. However, he did lead him on about it for several years, during which my brother worked for the business with the hopes of being brought in in a more serious way. This is time he could have spent preparing for a different career.

As I said above, the issue is loaded with emotional baggage. [/quote]

Well in your original post you said it was something you thought was very normal to ask, but clearly given the backstory you knew it wasn't.

If your mom sent you away at age 9 to spend more time with step father why in the world would you think she would prioritize you now over him?

Also you are assuming if your father lived he would have ran the business successfully and passed it along to your brother.
Neither of those things are guarantees, though I have much empathy for your loss and need to almost fantasize about your father and create such a wonderful image in your head of who he was and would have been.  (I do that as well)

However the fact remains that your step father ran the business for 25 years and the successes are due largely to him and your mom. 
It doesn't take away from what your father started, but business's fail all the time and this one didn't.

[/quote]

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