Reply to Help me come up with ways of coping with my mil

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She's quite toxic. Narcissistic and maybe even a little borderline. She passively criticizes me and openly criticized me. Sometimes it feels like she just takes the opposite stance from me on everything. Right now, she's hard core into telling us that our kids eat too little fast food - that it's not normal to eat so little McDonalds. Mind you, she's a physician and yet, has either a poor understanding or nutrition or just wants to clash with me.

Dh is no help. He basically falls into whatever in laws want and then almost gangs up on me "hey, why don't you let the kids go to McDonalds more often? Why do you send a fruit every day?"

We are in counseling, but, frankly, have not made it to the in law issues yet.

So give me your best non alcoholic coping mechanisms! One holiday, I posted all her crazy on a single thread on dcum and felt supported that way. Another year, I texted a friend with all the insane quotes "you know that ear rings will permanently damage the 8yr olds earlobes, don't you. Earrings pull the earlobe down. She's becoming disfigured."

I'd love more ideas.[b] My individual therapist said I need to let it wash over me and not affect me, but it's so boring and so painful.[[/b]/quote] Why are you wasting your money on therapy if you aren't going to listen to her advice?   One thing you realize when you get older and hopefully, more mature, is that most of the stuff that you think is so important and such a hill to die on doesn't really make a damn bit of difference.  I wish I had known this which I was first married and started a family. Reading these treads and looking back at how I handled issues with my own mil when I was younger makes me really dread being  mil some day.  Seriously, ladies.  Not everyone is borderline or narcissistic.  Neither are they always out to get you.  Your in-laws and and even your parents, were born of a different generation, had different norms and different ideas  of parenting and relationships.  Your kids will think the same of you some day.  Give it a rest.  Raise your kids as you see fit.  Don't look for offense in every word, action and deed and seriously, stop the armchair diagnosis.  [/quote]

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