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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We didn't give any gifts to anyone this year. Not even the grandkids.

Disrespect should never be rewarded. I feel for the kids but their parents are to blame. It doesn't matter because we're damned either way.

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My grandmother did this to me.

I reached out to her when I was in college to ask if we could reconnect because I missed her.  She said that she wanted to know what was wrong with my parents. She wanted me to act as a double agent and resolve her issues with them which she would not tell me about. 
"Ask your parents. They know what they did and why they do things." 
I said, "Well, they are my parents. I don't always understand them, but I respect them and appreciate what they have done for me."

She wouldn't budge. She was not perfect, but she was my only grandparent.
When she died, my husband thought it was so strange that I had a close relative he had never met.

I urge you NOT TO do this to children, or young adults.

You are not rewarding bad behavior by loving your grandchildren. You are exhibiting bad behavior and teaching the next generation that cutting off loved ones when it isn't easy is the next logical step. Your actually reinforce brattiness by being bratty back.

My wiser relatives will say, "I tried to call/work with/compromise with your parents, but it didn't work. Can we get together another time when they are not around?"
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