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Reply to "Visiting mother-in-law and it's time for a nursing home, but..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Asian parents dedicated their life to raise their kids on their own, ie, without help of daycare, unlike, American parents. They value family. Mom usually stay home to take care of family. Dad is main provider. They live modestly, and spent most the income on raising family, so of course they dont have much saving or retirement funds. They spent it on the children, so that children have better life than them. It's expected that children will take care of them as they get old. It's an honor for the children to be able to do the same.[/quote] This is making a lot of assumptions. Most Asian families were just like my white family- both parents worked, saved for retirement, had good jobs and then retired. I live in the DC area though and my friends can't afford houses big enough for their moms/parents to move in. That being said, we're struggling with my 95 year old grandma. She is extremely frugal (being a kid during the Depression and an adult during WW2) and she just doesn't want to pay for a nursing home or a health aid. She has the money, but just can't part with it. She fires any aide we send her way. She doesn't want to move in with her kids either. We're between a rock and a hard place with her and we're all pretty sure it's going to end badly for grandma. [/quote] Sorry to hear. My non-Asian grandma was the same. Her saintly neighbors were a lot of help (checking in, helping out with chores) until she finally had a fall that debilitated her and she ended up in a nursing home. It sucked, but in the end she was mature about it. My mom gave the kids of these saintly neighbors a huge contribution to their kids' college funds as a thank you (not a tit for tat, but more the point that their kindness was genuinely appreciated.) [/quote]
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