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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I realize there is a lot going on through your head. But try to separate your own frustration from fears for DD. I know how much it sucks, when the choice is pretty much made for you. It is what it is. No reason the children we have should suffer because of this.

I think you tend to idealize siblings and extended family, because it was not your experience. My mother has three living siblings. They call each other on birthdays. It's not a big deal if they don't. My mom wanted to call my aunt this past weekend, but it didn't work out because of the huge time difference, so she forgot about it. My dad has living sister and brother. His brother is completely estranged from the family. (Yes, drama. Most families have more drama than you can or would want to handle!) His sister is fine, but again... they don't even call on birthdays, for all I know. Occasionally, news about their sibs get to my parents, so we technically know who's still alive or who had a grandchild, or something big like that. But there are no relationships to speak of. Mind it, all these people are perfectly nice, well-educated, doing pretty well in life, no mental issues etc etc. Just not what you think a family should be, right?

DH has not spoken to his sister for ages. For no particular reason. They are children of the divorce, so once they graduated high school, they moved in different directions. After we got married, I practically made DH reestablish relationships he had with what's left of his family. Granted, there are only a couple of cousins and one uncle left. Again, these relationships are very very superficial (although I do think they are important).

So, don't idealize families too much. You want to hear a real story? Stop by the family relationship board, you'll get an earful. None of it takes away from the pain of not having your dream family, but as I mentioned above, you need to try to separate the two. Your only DD will be just fine, not worse, maybe better off than many kids out there. Don't lay any more guilt on yourself, this thing is bad enough on its own.

Hang in there, and good luck![/quote]

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