Reply to So, it occurred to me that I am not the marrying kind... I'm so f**ked

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Reply to "So, it occurred to me that I am not the marrying kind... I'm so f**ked"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, yes please flame all you want. I can take it. The PPs who say that I am rug sweeping have it exactly right.  I think I went along/go along just to get along more than anything but what does one do when there are no issues to gripe about?  Not that griping about issues makes a relationship interesting. I don't enjoy being immersed in unnecessary drama. My DH was a good man, and I thought  and still think that I need a better reason other than "eh, not feeling it" to dump him. So like someone else mentioned,  I  hang in there and do what a good spouse is supposed to do but we both agree that we are not exactly kindred spirits.

We have and do try the typical "spicing up" of the marriage and while those activities are fun, they never quite ignite that chemistry.

I have convinced myself that this is as good as it gets and I wonder if I need to keep convincing myself of that for my kid's sake. And really,  isn't this as good as it gets? Good parenting partners, no conflicts,  no stress.

I have no problem being alone and don't have any ideas of a wandering soulmate out there just waiting for me so even if I did get divorced, it won't be in hopes of finding someone better.I'm

But I will admit that if DH brought up divorce today, I won't fight to keep him.[/quote]

If you have a conflict free marriage, why would being divorced and alone be better than being married? I don't get that. [/quote]well, for one, so I can stop psyching myself up to have sex with DH each time. Approaching intimacy like a porn star would approach her job. Lights, camera,  action...perform!. No personal enjoyment,  you just don't it because it's your job.[/quote]

I was divorced by age 28 and single for about 7 years before getting remarried.  I had thought dating would be fun - but most of the guys totally sucked.  And most of them were really awful in bed.  Like awful.  LIFE not just marriage is different as you age - much more boring, realizing you aren't going to be what you thought or things are what you thought they'd be like etc.  Now think of that with the combined fact that women mostly end up significantly downwardly mobile after a divorce (especially if you have kids) - and you'd have to juggle custody and time with your kid and co-parent with someone you are apart from.  The pool of available men as you age is much smaller & more damaged.  But, who knows, it might work for you.  Not to be totally depressing.  But, maybe first try to find ways to perk up yourself by doing things for yourself and self-care types of things.  Finding things to excite and interest you that aren't driven (or in reverse blamed) on your spouse.  
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