Reply to How to be closer to DD (age 11) if I'm stretched thin (working and with 3 kids)?

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Reply to "How to be closer to DD (age 11) if I'm stretched thin (working and with 3 kids)?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I have two kids with very different temperaments.  My first born (DD) is much like me, outgoing, confident, competitive, positive.  My son (9), much more reserved, sensitive and at times grumpy and negative.  One thing that has helped me is to find the positive aspects of his disposition and to vocalize them (so he knows I see and understand him).  So, while I cringe when he can't bring himself to speak to adults after losing a close sports match, I can also tell him "I know you are extremely observant"; "You could be a comedian with the impersonations you do" "You have an amazing memory."   Lately he's developed a dry, sarcastic sense of humor that appears to come out of now where when coming from such a "straight guy" . . . hysterical.

I'd spend a few minutes writing down the "flip side" of your DDs traits that make he different than you.  Is she more intense? Is she more methodical? Calmer?  Skeptical? (these can all be strengths) Then think about how those traits will serve her well in life and start celebrating them when you have a chance.

BTW--I am home after school.  Nonetheless, it took me a good 6 years to figure out how my son operates.  Even though I know a lot about him, that doesn't mean we always connect.  He way too often uses me as his punching bag and to let off steam and I get frustrated by this!!  If I weren't there, I'm not sure I'd catch as much of that.   TBH, I think the one advantage of being home is that I can sometimes intuit what has created his dark mood based on what I know about his day that I might not know if I wasn't there driving carpool etc.  I also know when to push and when to let things slide because I understand more of the stressors in his afternoon than I would if I come home a 6:00.  [/quote]

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