Reply to Pros and Cons of Putting House in Trust

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I will be buying a home soon but I will be putting down the down payment and paying the mortgage for the foreseeable future as DH cannot afford to contribute.  He has two children from a previous marriage will need to pay child support for at least 10 more years.  We also have two children together.  I would like this house to go to our children together when we die.  Spoke to a lawyer who suggested that I put the house only in my name or put it in a trust.  What are the pros and cons of putting it in a trust?  He explained that when I want to refinance, I'd need to pay to take it out of the trust temporarily and put back in.

Before people bash me for not wanting to also provide for my stepchildren, I am fine dividing our joint accounts and any future assets equally among all children, but since this home will be purchased using funds ($200k) I had before we were married, and I will be paying for the mortgage, I would like it to go to our children together.[/quote]

Hi OP, I am in a similar situation - my SO is a teacher and makes less than half of what I do. He pays CS for his kids.  I have my own two kids.  But I'm also kid "from the first marriage" as both my parents remarried and had subsequent children.

I don't think you should approach the house issue this way.  You married him and (presumably) have accepted his children as part of your family.  You may not see them as equal to your children -- which is completely understandable -- but you should treat the children as equals.  They all came from the wonderful man that you married.  You could be hit by a bus the day you close on your new house and your husband would still be responsible for all four kids.  The question you really should be asking is, "[b]What can I do to make sure he is able to live comfortably in the event of my death.[/b]"  If he's not a high earner and you don't have a lot of liquid assets for him to conduct his life after you die -- he'll probably sell that house, move into something smaller, and use the remaining cash to fund life.  So, if I were you, I would just leave most of your assets to him (including the house) with a set-aside for your children's education.

The bigger issue is the off-chance that you both die at the same time.  The better approach than 'my money to my kids' is that your children are younger and will logically need more funds as his children will reach the age of self-sufficiency earlier.  So come up with a formula to divided the assets based on their ages.

Also, you'll want to make sure that whatever proceeds go to his kids are controlled by someone you both trust and can't be obtained by your husband's ex.

Bottom line: Don't make this about you and your money.  Frame it so that it's about making sure ALL the children in your life are taken care of appropriately.  Appropriately doesn't necessarily mean equally.[/quote]

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