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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, your DH clearly needs to get over it.  But I would be annoyed that BIL sprung this big trip on everyone in such a showy way.  It seems ostentatious, and it's rude to get kids excited about something before clearing it with their parents.  [/quote]

This.  I would've had no problem with such a trip as long as BIL had mentioned it privately first to all the parents involved, but announcing such a huge idea in front of kids was manipulative.  Of course, the kids will want to go and then the parents are stuck in a difficult position.

It's been done, but the major issue to me is how can you prevent this from happening again?  I would try to get my husband to go along this one time, while promising to tell BIL that future such trips really need to be discussed and cleared in advance, or making it clear that you view this generosity as a wonderful but one time only thing.

Also, are there other family members who genuinely can't pay their own way?  Maybe BIL has other motivations in announcing the trip is paid for all.  Maybe BIL's public offering to take everyone allows impoverished single elderly grannie so and so to go on a nice trip she would never otherwise be able to afford.  Encourage BIL and your husband to talk, with your husband making an offer to contribute to the trip in a way that he feels comfortable with (whether it's paying his own way, your family's own way, providing a special outing or whatever).  This isn't just about money, but it's also about decision-making power.  I'm willing to be that's why your DH is so stuck on it.  [/quote]

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