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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would never leave my husband alone at Christmas and my kids wouldn't either even if I would. But i can tell you that if we don't go it will not be a very happy holiday....especially when we are freezing and thinking of our entire family frolicking on the beach in Hawaii!

I am going to sit down with him later and explain to him how I see it- that my BIL is kindly offering to take the family on a very special trip as a once in a lifetime chance. There is no reason to look more into it than that. That he is focusing on such ridiculousness in  light of what is going on in our crazy world today. That he should enjoy the moment and take advantage of every day. Wish me luck:)[/quote]

You can ask him if his pride is worth the damage to his relationship to his children.  Focus on what a great opportunity it is for your children and to take it for them.  How are you and your DH's finances in comparison to the rest of your family. Is this more of the same, albeit grander and larger scale?  How much is it in comparison to his family? How much is his salary compared to yours?  How competitive is your family?

Things can change. My cousin married a very rich man. They were able to fly her nieces and nephews for fantastic skiing vacations, European tours and Hawaiian vacations.  Her sister, also my cousin,said one of the reasons that it was easier to accept was that the level of wealth was just so much more than anyone else, there was no competition or reciprocation quilt.  In the end, however, he died in debt.  He was a gambler at heart, which is what led to his early business success, but made some bad decisions in the end.  So, despite "being smart" and making sure she had at least one house paid off and totally in her name and having $5m in the bank in her name, she lost it all, the lawyers ended up being able to change her address a community property state, since that is where they were at the end of his life (for medical reasons) and it was a community property state.  She now gets monthly stipends from her siblings.

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