Reply to Help me out with this- new Christmas dilemma

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[quote=Anonymous]What does the husband want you to do and the kids?

Stay home?

This is an opportunity to clarify your families value system for your kids, tough lesson or not.

And the problem seems to be that you and husband have differing value systems. He "doesn't take a handout" over family togetherness and harmony and you value family togetherness and harmony over other issues. But then does loyalty to current family trump loyalty to extended family? Or does it not when the issue is a value you do not value.

This is soooo tough OP. I really feel for you. Is your marriage good otherwise?

Your husband paying seems like a non-starter to me.

If you stay home, you will be resentful and if you go, he will be resentful. I guess you have to keep talking to each other until you com ego an agreement that you can both live with.

I'd be VERY tempted to go and take the kids, but that sends such a message of family dysfunction to everyone including yourselves. I just can't imagine not going when everyone else is going - and you all want to go, minus husband. I'd be too mad at him.

What a mess. Too bad a gift causes this much angst. So sorry, OP.[/quote]

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