Reply to I'm jealous of my kid's relationship with their stepmom

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[quote=Anonymous]Hugs to you. This is understandable and a tough position for you but never fear.  Your kids will always, always love you as their mother. I know it is hard for you but it is pretty great they have another supportive person in their lives too especially as they become teens. My story is below and hopefully you will learn some ways to deal with this new situation.

We were in a similar position as your kids, and at those ages and frankly until they are adults - you are likely to find them making statements like that and genuinely feeling that way. It is what it is and you can work around it, in fact you must figure out how you will do that and stick to it for years. I can tell you about how my mother did it with us, 5 of us. She did not have a big family and there were no cousins on that side.

I had a lovely stepmother for over 30 years until she died suddenly 3 years ago and a mother, whom I love greatly, who was an alcoholic for most of my youth and young adult life and slipped up even as recently as 5 years ago, but she has and will always continue to be my mother. She was so good at enjoying every moment she had with us and pretty much never badmouthing our stepmom as much as she probably wanted to - these are the keys - even though we rarely had actual Thanksgiving day with her, she always had a Thanksgiving meal for us the next day or whenever she next had us - the celebrating not the actual day are just a state of mind  - even if we were in college and just dropped by for a few hours.

Also we had traditions in each family and you can get your kids input and start some new ones with them too if they want that - it can be ice skating and hot cocoa or whatever you all come up with - your DH isn't the only one with that opportunity.

Good luck OP - you can get past this - and create your own space with your kids.  I think managing your expectations will be key here. Stay positive![/quote]

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