Reply to I'm jealous of my kid's relationship with their stepmom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know I'm being petty, but I can't help it. My ex husband married his AP about 5 months ago. She's been in my kid's life for the last three years (kids are 11 and 4), but it seems like since she married my ex, she's gotten really close with my kids. I'm glad that she doesn't mistreat my kids or anything, but I don't like they're becoming so close. For example, I always had my kids on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve and my ex gets them Christmas Day and New Years. My ex and I were going back and forth because he wanted the kids with him. I told him that was fine and that we could switch Thanksgiving and Christmas. He didn't want to do that because this is his first Christmas as husband and wife and he wanted to start new traditions as a family. I then told him we'll stick with our original agreement. My 11 year old begged me to go with them for Thanksgiving because she wanted to see all of her cousins and that with me it's just the three of us and its kinds of boring and how much fun she has when she's with her dad and the new wife. I agreed to let them go and since then all they've done was talk about all the fun they had with her and thanked me for letting them go and how they can't wait to spend time with them for Christmas. There's some traditions that we have (little things like seeing Santa and baking cookies) and they told me they have activities planned with her and that's what they prefer. [b]I feel like she's slowly replacing me and I don't want that. [/b]Again, I know I'm being petty, but I needed somewhere to vent!  :oops: [/quote]

You need to put your foot down or your ex and step are going to walk all over you.
Stick to the agreement. Tell your kids the truth -- that it's hurtful they don't want to spend the holidays with their mother. [/quote]
+1
Also when it's you and the kids don't even talk about her or him. If they bring them up change the subject. Don't give them any more time, attention, in you life (or in your head). If you can manage this, have a go between/third-party. I use my mom and she only texts him- no phone calls (it's much more controlled that way and there is a record of what was said). I don't have direct contact with my ex at all because he is so toxic and sneaky. He's much better behaved with my mom and the distance is so good for me. There is also way less back-and-forth. Once something is decided- it stays that way. Way more predictable. That's was a total bonus. [/quote]

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