Reply to DH comment to me after visiting inlaws

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Bit condescending, though, isn't it?  If instead he had said, "I appreciate all you did at my parents," that would have worked better. This sounds like he thinks he has all the power in the relationship and is complimenting you as one would a puppy, etc. [/quote]

Do you really make your spouse jump through hoops to do things exactly your way?  The point is that OP made the effort to be polite and kind to her mother-in-law.  Her husband, who is stuck in the unenviable middieman position between a spouse and parent who don't get along, appreciated that she made the effort and succeeded in getting along with his mother for the day/weekend and also made the effort to recognize the effort.  He showed appreciation.  A good spouse would be gracious about it and smile, say thanks or otherwise show acknowledgment and/or appreciation (whichever is appropriate) for the comment.

Marriage is a 2-way street and both parties have to work to keep it fresh and positive for the long run.  If you want to have a long-lasting marriage make it a habit to appreciate the efforts that your partner makes, show appreciation and gratitude and made the effort to do the small things that they will appreciate.  People do this a lot when they are dating and then once they marry many forget the little things that help pave the way to a good relationship.  If you have this smooth relationship, when you hit major hurdles, bumps, arguments, etc, you'll be in a more receptive mood to compromise or solve problems without a lot of baggage and history getting in the way.

He made the effort to show appreciation.  She should at least acknowledge it and accept it for the good gesture it was, no matter how clumsy the attempt or the wording.[/quote]

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