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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are worse things than death...[/quote]

+1. I don't understand why some kids want everything medically possible done for their parents when mom/dad is incontinent, demented, bed-bound, and basically a vegetable. [/quote]

I work in healthcare and see children bringing in their 95+ year old parents for monthly treatments that they don't understand and are physically exhausting.  I tell my kids when I get to be that age, keep me pain free and pooping.  That's all I ask.[/quote]

I agree.  We went through this with my FIL who'd had a massive stroke.  His quality of life was really poor yet, because of medications, he was stable.  My DH couldn't bring himself to stop the medications because to do so would mean that he would likely have a heart attack, stroke or go into a diabetic coma.  My DH felt that to stop the medication meant that DH would be killing him - even though he knew his father would not want to live that way.  I saw it as letting his life take its natural course and his father maintaining his dignity.  My FIL died 2.5 years after the stroke and had exhausted all of his savings.  DH and I were exhausted mentally and emotionally and his care had taken a huge toll on our marriage.  My kids have some memories of him before the stroke but far more of him as demented invalid who wore diapers and smelled despite our best efforts.

I've had a number of discussions with my kids to make sure I don't go out the same way.  I know my siblings will fully support them when the time comes.  I just hope it's not my DH making the decision again.[/quote]

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