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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Let me add some context.

I quit drinking, weed, smoking on my own.  I was never out of control, crazy party guy - I was a high-functioning substance abuser.  I had tapered back on booze maybe 6 months ago.  Weed maybe a year ago.  Smoking was coming and going as job stress waxed and waned, but I'm over it.

Looking back I feel like I was trying to mask something or make myself happy.  In retrospect I feel like I was smothering some lingering unhappiness with my marriage even though there was really nothing seriously wrong.  So now all those masks have been gone, my mind is much clearer, and I have spent months thinking about why, as time went on, I seemed to be more and more unhappy.  [b]I pin it on my marriage for reasons I still can't quite figure out.  DW is flipping out feeling blamed.[/b] [/quote]

Woman here. Divorced and remarried. Here are my thoughts.

My first marriage was not a good decision. We were not particularly well matched - different backgrounds, different interests, different priorities. Hell, we had different styles of decorating, different food preferences, different travel preferences, different social interests. We had overlap early on in a couple areas, but in retrospect, marrying was a bad decision and having a baby in a marriage that we both knew was floundering was also not a good decision (though she is a great kid and I wouldn't take her back for anything).

Your posts sound bored and lacking in empathy. Are those usual characteristics for you? What do you find interesting? What does your wife find interesting? What did you like about her when you started dating?

Your comment about your blaming your marriage for reasons you can't figure out and her feeling blamed are... ridiculously obvious. You blame your marriage for your malcontent, and your wife is understandably hurt and upset by that. Own that. Apologize to her.[/quote]

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