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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My family is moving overseas to Australia. My father lives in Los Angeles, a 16 hour flight away. My dad says he will never come visit us because the flight is too long, so we must always come and visit him. He says instead he would pay for my family's flight to see him, if necessary. He is 60 years old and retired, well off financially, he has no medical issues, he isn't afraid of flying, he is unmarried/unattached and he has no other commitments on his time whatsoever. Meanwhile, DH and I both work FT and we have a very young child. It will be considerably more difficult, logistically, for us all to arrange to see him. I am willing to do this but I don't know if we can swing it every year or very often, especially when DC is in school. I'm disappointed and a little insulted at his refusal to visit simply because he does not want to sit in an airplane seat for 16 hours. He also isn't coming back east to visit us before we leave because he says the flights are too expensive, more expensive than normal (like $1k vs $500). He offered to fly us out to him, but I explained that we need all the time we have to pack, make arrangements and finish up at work, so we really cannot take a vacation right now. I'm very disappointed and I feel like we don't matter as much to him as I thought. It's like he can't be bothered to go out of his way. I wish he cared more about seeing us, especially his grandchild. [/quote]

Here's the thing, OP. We all look at our lives from the inside of what we are experiencing.

Your father has had a lifetime of doing things for you. He has (presumedly) been up all night while you're puking, gone to dance recitals when he'd rather be doing something else, done all the things that parents do to help raise their children to be strong and independent adults, and then let you fly. You've made the choice to move far from home (across the coast), and now overseas. Those choices don't come without sacrifices, and as a strong and independent adult, you should know that we can't foist our sacrifices on other people.

[b]You moving overseas is a good choice for you, not your extended family. So own it, and understand that it really does put your extended family out. That being said, you are responsible for your core family unit and if it works for them, then it's your decision.[/b] [/quote]

This is the gist of what I was going to say.  You are making choices that impose some inconveniences on your extended family.  Own that.  If it was SO important to you to spend lots of time with extended family, you wouldn't be moving to Australia.  Maybe your family is disappointed and a little offended that you keep moving further away from them.

Your dad does not want to take that long flight.  He is willing to pay for you to fly to visit him.  Don't start from a position of thinking that because he has lots of money and time he should be the one to visit you.  Start from a position of thinking that he doesn't like such long flights but recognizes that flights are expensive and is willing to pay for you to fly instead.  [/quote]

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