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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

OP here. I appreciate this advice. I don't know the ins and out of their divorce and didn't really listen/participate in the chatter into why.

FIL is leaving rehab right after Thanksgiving weekend and moving into our au pair suite in the basement. I just struggle with taking this head on because these aren't my sisters and this isn't my mother (my parents are dead and I have a good relationship with my brother and his family). I just had a frustrating conversation with my MIL about the holidays and needed to vent/get perspective if I am being a huge bitch or if I really have a right to be frustrated and annoyed with their collective non nonchalance.[/quote]

OP, definitely don't host your MIL if you aren't up to it.  You are totally within your rights to be very clear with her: you are extremely busy because you are preparing to provide 24/7 care for your FIL.  So you don't have time for houseguests.  When she is at your house, do not cater to her!  You are busy dealing with more important responsibilities.  Honestly I'm surprised she would show her face, given what her choices have meant for you and your family.

As for your DH problem, you may need to start forcing the issue and insist that he and you come up with a plan to seek more family support.  Insist that he at least discuss it with you.  If you are stressing yourself out, try to put more of the burden on him by taking on less.  Maybe then he will be more willing to engage his family.  This situation is not sustainable and the sooner he realizes that, the better.[/quote]

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