Reply to Anyone have a high schooler that you don't think is ready for college yet?

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[quote=Alibaba]OP:  Thanks to everyone for the feedback.  Keep it coming!!

I agree that losing her dad was big.  He was a SAHD and very good father (husband too).  She had these tendencies before he passed but that event made them even stronger.

Here's the difference in applying herself versus not

Applying:  does homework, proactively gets help when she doesn't understand, more studying (in study halls not so much at home), even extra credit

Not:  doesn't do all her homework, claims lack of understanding as reason she didn't do it, gets help after due dates or not at all, thinks she can read the assigned books during class time, a mad rush at the end of the marking period to turn in missing homework which completely overwhelms her, lost credit for late timing, blames teachers for missed grades.  UGh!

And teachers are not always flexible (which is fine, i don't necessarily want special treatment).  Some teachers are even harder on her because she acts like she doesn't care.  She's a real personable kid too so teachers love her.

I have tried everything from sitting on top of her and hiring tutors to work with her 2x/week to giving her freedom to make the choices and holding her accountable for the results.  I am not a helicopter parent so the second option at least allows more peace at home versus always arguing about it. When i pushed the structure she felt unloved and isolated so i decided that was the wrong outcome.  I eased up and we're happier even if the grades aren't any better (or worse)    [/quote]

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