Reply to Long-lasting family conflicts/grudges and how kids have been impacted

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Long-lasting family conflicts/grudges and how kids have been impacted"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband and his brother don't speak and it's made things extremely awkward between his whole side of the family.  From what I can figure out, the brother is really jealous of our careers, house, lifestyle and has invented a reason not to speak to us.  We also know about his affair so that might have something to do with it too.

It has impacted my kids because few family members recognized their high school graduation, sent them a card, etc.  I worry that no one will come to their weddings.  On some level I also worry about what would happen if DH and I were tragically killed in an accident or something while the kids were still little.  Would his family step in?

DH worries about what will happen when his parents pass away.  He thinks there will probably be a big ugly fight about inheritances, and he's probably right.[/quote]

My family has longlasting conflicts and to me this kind of idiocy sums them up.

One side believes that they are simply caused by "jealousy" and 'invented reasons."  The other side has, of course, presented clear reasons time and again, but they are never acknowledged.  It's much easier to pretend someone is just jealous.  It protects you from having to face your own role and responsibility.  And then to turn around and worry about whether your children will receive adequate high school graduation and wedding presents?  OMG.  Yes, that is what is important when a family is divided -- lack of cashola for the kids.  And of course fear about an inheritance fight is what keeps ME up at night worrying about when my parents pass away...not isolation, relationships gone for good...

This is what is so stunning about family feuds.  One side is emotionally tone deaf.

[/quote]

OP here. Huh. Years ago, my mother would always throw around the word "jealous" and accuse everyone else of wanting money from a grandparent. Everyone she didn't like on my dad's side and on her own side was always jealous of her. Not surprisingly, she was always see herself as the good guy and her in-laws as the bad guys. To this day, she has extreme anxiety and NPD. But everyone except her needs psychotherapy. She's just a victim.

As I kid, I always felt that my relatives were bad people but now, as an adult, I see how both sides are at fault. Yes, I agree there are people in our families who are bats$it and you need to move away from them as far as possible. Even animals know to move away from dangerous areas. Still, it is telling to see things through adult eyes many years later. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics