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[quote=Anonymous]I'll say this. Both of my parents had issues with some of their siblings, where long-term rifts ensued. They basically forced us kids to get along for the sake of family.

One of my siblings had always been pretty awful. Always putting me down, critical, negative, talking down about me to to others. He said it was because he believed I could do better. But that doesn't matter - you don't tell people you love that they're screwups. That other people (other family members) don't care about them. You don't tell them others don't like them. That's a form of abuse. I may not be an astrophysicist, but I'm also not an alcoholic, drug addict, or anything even close.  I'm a simple, but decent human being.

I've severed my relationship with this sibling. It's not out of a grudge or past conflict. I simply am a better, happier, stronger, healthier person without them in my life. It's not about the past, but about my own life now, and in the future.

There are sacrifices. I choose to opt out of some occasions that involve them. I will not make others (other family members) bear that burden, but I'll do it myself. I won't trash talk to others about this sibling, but I won't needlessly expose myself to more of their negativity. I won't be a part of their kids' lives, and vice-versa. It's not ideal, but it's what's necessary for me.

My estrangement from this sibling has also given me a lot of forgiveness for my parents, and their sibling issues. I did harbor questions and hurt about not being connected to extended family. But part of growing up, is understanding that your parents aren't superheroes. They make the best decisions they're equipped with. I get their choices. I hope that mine will be understood one day as well. 
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