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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: I felt this way too. I'm not younger than his wife, but in way better shape and far prettier. We also shared a very strong emotional connection, something that by his own admission was missing from his marital relationship. The 'affair' such as it was has ended, although in our case it was a lot more emotional than physical. The emotional connection I had with him made me extremely jealous of his wife - the fact that he didn't connect with her emotionally made things worse for me, not better, with me frequently thinking "why could it not have been me". We didn't have a future together, and had to break it off, but I still feel slightly triumphant that he felt for me what he didn't feel for her.... But in the end, she has him, permanently, while I don't. That always kills any feelings of 'victory' that I might have.

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If it "would have been you", you'd be busy raising his kids and daily chores, work and whatnot. Not a lot of time for emotional connection during that period in life. Especially if the scumbag is out screwing women who devotes ALL their free time to boosting his ego. [/quote]

People don't realize what a number the daily grind of managing a household , career and kids does to emotions and connections in general. When couples embrace reality and accept it, they will stop hankering for connections outside marriage. The media is to blame for the utopian image of marriage, partially. Sets unrealistic expectations. To the two "other " women, The wives truly win.[/quote]

I actually agree with you on the unrealistic picture of marriage we are fed. I'll add that we're encouraged to marry for "love"  and that sounds nice, but  the "love" tends to be based on those early exciting , butterfly feelings and hot sex. Which is great but not the stuff of day to day or 30, 40, 50 years together.[/quote]

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