Reply to How not to let mothers comments get to me

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "How not to let mothers comments get to me"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Isn't this kind of your fault for not telling her?[/quote]

It is ,  but we didn't tell her because that would make things more stressful. My mother is the type who would assume one of us was doing something wrong or offer endless advice on how she knew someone who just tried xyz and had a baby. and wouldn't understand why that wouldn't work for us.[/quote]
Ok -- then stress about her making comments due to her lack of knowledge of the situation or stress because you assume she will make the situation worse with comments. At some point, you have to take the bull by the horns and decide how you want to have an adult relationship with your mom.

"Mom, I know we have been dealing with something that we have not shared with you. We did not want you to worry about us, especially me as your daughter. But we have been dealing with infertility. You don't know it but it took quite a while and a lot of medical intervention for us to have Baby Larla. We have been trying desperately to have another, but at this point we do not know whether this will happen. We wanted to bring you in the loop because you care about us and are so crazy about Larla and really want to have another grandbaby to love on. We really hope that happens, but  we are trying desperately to deal with things as they are and appreciate and feel grateful for the family that we  have now, including you as a loving grandma. We would like to deal with this privately, so would appreciate if you did not share this with anyone else. Thanks for loving and supporting us thru this. If we have any updates, we will let you know. Thanks again for being on our team."
"Mom, I know you love Larla, you want more little Larla's, if and when that happens, we'll let you know. Until then, can you cut the pressure, it can be wearing. I know it's from a place of love, but I'd rather the love came with more love and less stress."

[/quote]

One, this is a novel.
Two, OP's mom will interpret this as "OP and DH have been trying for years without success, so I bet I can be that fresh pair of eyes that will look at the situation differently and come up with some suggestions they haven't thought of." She'll make it her side-project to bring that much-desired baby into existence.

And forget about her not telling others in the family. Because this will finally be the explanation everyone has been waiting for: OP doesn't have baby #2 because of infertility!!

[/quote]
1) It's not a novel -- it's 2 different responses(1 where she addresses the infertility, 1 where she just addresses the current comments)

2)I was talking to OP, but thanks for the critical analysis[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics