Reply to Effective strategies for getting DH to pull his weight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you mentioned something critical but in passing -- your DH has ADD although referred to today as ADHD.  All his behaviors are characteristic of people with ADHD.  Is he taking medication for his ADHD?  That can greatly increase his ability to concentrate and stay on task.  Why don't you consider helping him get treated for the ADHD before you consider a separation or divorce.  He is not going to improve until he gets some help.  He can't help being the way he is and expecting more is unfair to him unless you become part of the solution.[/quote]

He was on medication for his ADHD, and he literally was way worse. He put all of his energy into work, and would literally not come home til later 8 or 9 pm, could never tell me when to expect him, and when he came home was all strung out and crashing after working like a maniac on speed. It was horrible. He would stare at a wall blankly and never could even maintain a conversation.

I supported him through this period on the promise he would also attempt behavior therapy and try to learn to be more functional, rather than just focusing on work. He came out and told me he felt he should be able to focus entirely on his career.

Now he has stopped medication without advice from his doctor and I am back to having to do everything myself. For a year we had major housekeeping to help, but now we cannot afford that. [/quote]

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