Reply to Getting to know stepmother when you are north of 40

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[quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you don't live near them so you won't be spending every weekend at their house. You also have the added complication of your mother's issues, which as a pp said, are her issues. My mom died when I was 18 and my dad remarried when I was in grad school. I never lived with them and she has never been a mother figure to me. My kids consider her a grandparent but she definitely doesn't have the same love for them as she has for her own grandchildren (conversely, my dad is super close with her grandkids).  I do have friends who have stepmoms they are very close to so it could just be that our personalities did not click. My dad is actually having surgery next month and I was just thinking that will be the most time she and I will have ever spent together (waiting in the hospital, etc.). I am grateful to her for nursing him through his health crises as he would have been very lonely without her. Bottom line is that you just need to take it slowly and see where it goes. It could be great and you could end up with a great friend or it could be awkward like it has been for me for the past 20 some years. [/quote]

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