Reply to Dad's new wife wants older grandchildren to call her grandma

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not exactly the same situation, but FWIW--My paternal grandparents divorced right around the time I was born, and grandpa immediately remarried a woman younger than my mother.  I was very close with my grandma, less so (but not distant) from my grandpa.  I honestly don't remember how it was in the very early days, but i do remember thinking as I got older how weird it would be to call young new wife "grandma".  All I ever remember calling her was "Aunt Larla."

They had a child (my half-uncle, a few years younger than me, who was always very close with his half-brothers, despite the age gap). Now that half-uncle and I both have kids of our own, she asked that we (me and my sibs, and all the grandkids) all call her "Grandma Larla" now.  It was an awkward request at first, but honestly as a mom myself now, I can see how it must have been sad to her to be "excluded" in that way from the start.  After so many years in the family, I was happy to give her that small thing.

[b]And really, it's polite to call people what they want to be called.[/b][/quote]

If I asked you to call me "Mom", would you?  That's what I want to be called![/quote]
I go to a diner where I call the short order cook Mom.  Everyone else does, so I do too.  Had we been formally introduced, I'm sure it would have been "mom".  No, I don't think this person is my mom.  No, I'm not giving them the love and respect of my mother.  It's her nickname.  It's what she want to be called.  What on earth is the big deal?  I also know a Big Poppy.  :-)[/quote]

The big deal is that she's placing her desire for a certain title above the children's feelings, and that is unkind.  She wants the title of an important role in the family before she has earned it.[/quote]

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