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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Men- What exactly do you mean when you say you can compartmentalize the AP? I've heard this many times and truly don't get it .... Help?[/quote]

When I was with my AP, I was with her.  I liked her, cared about her, but she wasn't my wife, she wasn't the mother of my children.  She was an awesome, fun, sexy woman who actually enjoyed having sex with me, which was so awesome after years of a DW who could take or leave (mostly leave) sex.  When I was with my family, I didn't think of my AP very often, except when I was getting rejected sexually by my DW which wasn't that often because I knew it was futile to even try to initiate.

At some point, my DW sensed our connection eroding.  It's not possible for me (and I think for many men and I am sure women) to maintain intimacy without sex.  She decided to put an effort into our sex life, it made the affair less necessary.  AP and I eventually stopped, me and DW resumed.

I know I will get flamed for this, but AP helped me stay married.  I had an outlet for sexual touch that my DW cut-off.  Without it, I would have boiled over in resentment at DW.  [/quote]

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