Reply to Downsizing aging parent: 2 sibs who live close+1 who lives far=drama

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think that a lot of people do not understand that special needs kids can't be left with just anyone. When your life consists of going to constant therapy appointments (which are expensive), it is not unusual to not have a regular babysitter. I get that, op. I also get that your dh is in a new job and he can't take off a few days in the middle of the week to schlep your kiddo to appointments and watch the baby. But maybe your sisters don't understand and you need to explain that to them -- again -- and apologize again for your absence. My dc is 14 and I am still explaining his issues and limitations to my MIL :). And maybe you do need to shell out a little extra for their time (or a gift card to a restaurant if that is more palatable to you). Since you do have funds available, maybe you can offer to pay to have the house painted prior to listing (pay a painter directly) or pay for new carpeting. Or maybe you guys just have to sell the house "as is" if you don't have the time or energy to deal with fixing it up. [/quote]

Op said they have a SN child and a baby, parents who both work full time. Meaning that the children/child have been either in daycare, with a nanny or some sort of "non parent" caregiver, in addition to the progression to school and possibly aftercare if the SN child is older.
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OP didn't say 2 FT working parents - she said her husband's job is long hours and he can't take leave now. So perhaps she's a FT caregiver to her SN child, but probably the child is in some kind of educational program at least a few hours of the day.

OP, you've gotten a lot of good advice here. One of the best was this, from a PP: [quote]Sometimes life is inconvenient, expensive and a pain. Just because you are out of town and have a complicated life doesn't mean you get a pass. Sorry. [/quote]

I'm the PP who has BTDT with siblings and a parent, and I have to tell you -- it doesn't get better, it gets worse. We moved my dad to a wonderful fantastic place. But he went downhill more quickly than we expected, which required a ton of work esp by my local siblings, and within 18 months had a major medical crisis. He was hospitalized and being sent to hospice. In terms of my kids, my job, my life, it was a terrible time to pick up and sit by his hospital bed. But at that point, there literally is no other choice a civilized person can make. Believe me, this is when whatever relationship you have left with your siblings will be tested even more. Right now, the move - this is the easy part. [/quote]

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