Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Regrets about marrying interracially?"
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] The solution to your problem is to build a more culturally-varied social circle over time, so that you can start understanding how these things work. I'm White European and Asian, and moved as an adult to the US. My kids are American. When my parents met, they didn't even have a common language! Yet the religious and cultural differences (not even touching on personal appearance, which is moot) worked in their favor. They were both appreciative and curious about each other's background, and I grew up with a rich cultural heritage. Their families, on the other hand, were not that excited :-) It led to drama, to put it mildly. But my parents have never regretted getting together. Now in their 60s, they're retired and do everything together. [/quote] OP: Did the drama ever resolve or did you grow up not knowing your grandparents? Did the drama affect you personally or were you mostly a spectator?[/quote] The drama was that my mother's snobby, conservative cousins and aunts/uncles didn't speak to her for 10 years, and there were lots of rumors and accusations, involving race and money. I saw all my grandparents occasionally - this had less to do with their prejudices than with distance. During my childhood, I never lived in the same country as any of the grandparents (my father had a job that required frequent international moves). My grandparents were distant but affectionate. My white Grandma did tell my mother in my presence that people of different races should never marry. As is usually the case with prejudiced people, they can like an individual (me) but harbor unshakable prejudices against an ethnic group. Both sets of grandparents were always polite to their son or daughter in law - and I understood that excessive politeness is a very effective tool to exclude someone from one's inner circle. I married someone from a different cultural background as well - we do speak the same language, however :-) This has never been a problem, since our parenting and financial values are aligned. Talk to your husband about parenting and money. This is what gets couples divorced, most of the time. [/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics