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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, if your response emotionally or intellectually is to disagree with every poster (which is totally legitimate and fine) then maybe that's your answer? Valuable exercise if so.

I have a 6 month old and love the infant stage. I can't believe it's me. Thinking I got lucky with no post partum and an easy as hell baby. Generally I have tons of anxiety in life. [/quote]

OP here - quite right. I think it has been a valuable exercise. It has helped me figure out where I stand.

So glad for you that you got lucky. My baby too was easy. It was just me that was a mess. And I love my little girl so much I can't fathom knowingly plunging myself into that darkness again and being less than myself during her key developmental years for the slim chance of having another child. What if I put us all through hell and end up with nothing? Then I may never climb out of the darkness again. I think I'd rather stay in the light with my girl. My beautiful lovely girl who I'm finally healthy enough to really enjoy.

I suppose part of my issue is that I was taken by surprise when the OB/Gyn declared "you don't ovulate, you have to see a reproductive endocrinologist." I was fine with the plan of just leaving the door open but not trying too hard. To be suddenly told that the door was closed all along and I didn't realize it makes me feel foolish and disoriented. [/quote]

I think it might help you to talk it through with a specialist.  What you say doesn't make any sense.
A. I love my DD, and I don't want the possibility of going through PPD ever again because of the adverse effect on both myself and DD
B. If I was ovulating on my own I wouldn't mind having a 2nd one.  
C. I am disappointed that I don't ovulate because ARTs are out of the question due to the previous experience.

A and B are mutually exclusive. [/quote]

OP here - you make a lot of sense and are clearly parsing what I'm saying quite carefully. Thanks for pointing out the flaw in my logic. I mean that sincerely.

I am going to talk to the IVF doctor we saw three years ago. The depression began when we did ART. It lasted through PPD. I was anxious and depressed PPD but I was also seriously grieving the whole time I went through ART. I was mad as hell at my body. I think I might be able to survive PPD again, but I think the combo of ART and PPD would be really bad for me. I also think that I would be really sent to a dark place if the ART was highly inconvenient and frustrating and did NOT result in a baby.

I'd be willing to do something like Clomid to increase my chances of ovulating. I can't commit to all those early morning monitoring sessions. I think it takes too much away from my family life.

Does this make more sense? It does to me anyway. [/quote]

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