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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Time to let all this go. Why do you need to "understand" him so much? If you are perseverating on this so much, I'd see a therapist to discuss it with. You are surely driving your husband nuts.[/quote]

I have been letting it go for the 7 years I have known the man. But we are reaching a crisis situation on his living arrangements, Health and day to day care. Plus now I really see how his aspergers parenting has affected my DH and worse how i continues to hurt him now even as a middle aged man.  I was trying to "understand" so I could've past feeling frustrated with FIL and sad for my DH. So many parents write on DCUM asking for sympathy and understanding of their SN children. I'm trying to do the same for my FIL. Never mind. [b]Maybe that's A blessing for those of you with aspergers, you never have to worry about other people feelings or needs.  But you have no idea the damage you mace caused to your kids.[/b][/quote]

Again, you seem to not really grasp what being on the spectrum is like.  It's more like being constantly baffled by other people's feelings and needs, sometimes wanting social relationships or feeling lonely, but not understanding how to do better.  I understand that you're having a hard time and venting, OP, but it is DEFINITELY not lost on my HFA kid that he doesn't have friends, hurts people's feelings, etc.  He knows that he will have a very tough time earning enough to support himself, and that the social skills for having a dating relationship or raising children are going to be a huge struggle.  It is a crushing burden for him that DH and I struggle even to slightly alleviate.

I don't know your FIL, but you're painting with way too broad a brush when you talk about all people with this condition as if they don't care.   If you talk to your FIL like this, no wonder it's going badly.  I know this is hard for you, but it won't help your situation to be so unfair, nor will you get much sympathy if you persist in making these hurtful generalizations. [/quote]

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