Reply to Why DON'T you set boundaries?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
It must be nice to go through life thinking everything is simple and clear-cut.

It's not.

Usually people who have difficulty setting boundaries have interacted during their formative years with hyper-controlling, very strong-willed people who can manipulate and nag everybody until it's less exhausting to do what they want rather than fight.

Typically, everyone gets better at setting boundaries as they grow older and mature. Which means some door-mats learn to say no occasionally, and some strong-willed people get downright abusive, and cross boundaries more often.

[/quote]

This. I was a shy kid and loved my parents and they spent a lot of time with me when I had no friends growing up. It took me years after college and after I found my DH to set some boundaries because I finally needed to. I was so used to walking on eggshells and knowing exactly what to do I make them happy it was hard to see it another way. I had to put my future marriage first and it came to a head when we were planning the wedding. Much healthier relationship between everyone now but it's been 3 years after the wedding and they still recall how unpleasant the Months running up to it were. Glad I did it but it wouldn't have happened earlier.  [/quote]

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