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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MILs doesn't listen either.   She is not capable of listening and responding in an appropriate fashion.  No matter what I tell them, no matter how personal, no matter how good or bad, she responds with a self-centered story about herself.

I'm sorry OP - it stinks.[/quote]

Thanks...I'm sorry this is the case for you, too! ILs version of listening is "waiting for our turn to talk." I wouldn't mind so much if they didn't perceive me as quiet and stand-offish, when really I've just had to shut down to protect myself.[/quote]

OP and PP, giant group hug.  Same deal with my ILs, too.  I've also shut down to protect myself and therefore, I'm now uptight, controlling and stand-offish, according to my ILs.  It's absolutely maddening and no, they won't change. Still, i find myself giving in a bit, sharing something I think is innocuous and then one of the ILs will say something that is so thoughtless or selfish that th cycle begins anew.

I recently shared a story with my ILs about my beloved grandfather - a dear man they met several times (including my wedding) and who died about ten years ago...ILs listened and then my  FIL asked which grandpa I meant.  Um, I only had the one as the other died before I was born.  I've been married almost 18 years now...I somehow remember important details of ILs' lives, have heard the stories, met the extended families, attended their funerals, etc.  at least feign some interest in me, ILs.
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