Reply to Sucking it up - for 18+ years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is your DH on board with the suck-it-up plan? Are your feelings mutual? [/quote]

He really loves me. He says he does, anyway, and talks about how much I've helped him grow/ expanded his worldview etc. He wouldn't divorce me - I would have to initiate. He is very critical, though, and impatient and frankly immature. He gets on my nerves, but it's not the end of the world. [/quote]

But you don't respect him. And respect is even more important than love. I grew up in a home with 2 parents who didn't respect each other. Messed me up when it came to romantic relationships and took decades of therapy and self-help books to fix the damage. I kept dating guys who didn't respect me and I didn't respect them (but I LUUUUUUV'd them). But the guys who respected me, they made my skin crawl.

If you stay, you have to figure out how to respect him. You can't just fake it. Your child will be able to tell. So spend your energy focusing on the positive. The negative about him will never change. It's not worth your time to make note of it; let it roll off your back. You need to find ways to appreciate  him and let him know. That's how you get through it. Ignore the bad, focus on the good. [/quote]

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